Introverts and Extroverts

I came across some interesting thoughts on the difference between introverts and extroverts. I've always felt these things, but it was good to see it displayed for the entire world. As an introverted person, I have a severe disability in dealing with people that I don't trust totally. I think too much. I ponder questions that others give answers to easily, and the world, as it is, doesn't make sense to me. This has always been the case and this is why I create worlds.

Racism doesn't make sense to me except on an economic level which allows one group to have more and do more than the other by right of birth. For economic reasons, racism makes a certain malevolent, self-serving, kind of sense. Being against homosexuality, doesn't make sense to me. I can find no legitimate reason for knocking the ability of one person to love another consenting adult if they chose to. Sexism doesn't make sense either, but on the other side of that feminism has risen to something that is borderline insane. Shunning the homeless and treating them like...less. Not feeding starving people because they're "lazy". Not educating the poor in the hopes of creating a better world for all. Etc., Etc., Etc.

I've turned these things inside out and sideways, and have come to the conclusion that I do not have to take any of these thing personally simply because they are outside of my own general makeup. These things exist outside of me, and I am content to leave them there.

I have people in my life who subscribe to all these common 'hatreds'. I have never and will never understand them in a way that goes beyond anything but speculation as to the source of why people feel this way. Some people say, for example, that racism is instinctual, because of the difference in look. I call bullshit on that one. I don't know the "real" answer, but I'm fairly certain that's not it. I'm leaning toward the economic division as the most true. In order for some people to be on top some people have to be on the bottom, and they must be made to understand that their place is the bottom and to be relatively content down there. Racism.

I found this news article on the blog of a man who has a bunch of degrees, writes beautifully, and with a style that immediately commands attention---and lives in a homeless shelter, happy to get a coat for the harsh weather. I found him utterly fascinating and read his entire blog in one day. I think like that person. The sad thing is, this is not the way to think if you want to make it in this world. I see visions of homeless shelters in my future. Emotional homeless shelters, definitely. Physical ones are extremely likely. It's like living in Bizarro World, people. For me, it's opposite day all the time.

When I chose to write my own book, when that book was the thing I wanted to write and not what someone was telling me to write or what someone else thought I should be writing, you can easily see what I chose to put out on my own.

The longer I'm at it, though, the more I realize that I wrote that one for me. And I am in it. While I struggle around and fight the system for a place for my true voice to be heard, I am no longer shocked by the cruel reaction I get. You're either part of the system or you're not, and if you're not part of the system, you are rather reviled. By everyone. So be it.

I've had my money taken. I've been kicked off lists I've earned the right to be on. I've had shitty reviews written with malice of intent for beautiful books and I don't really exist...

...I am a compilation of accepted writers writing under a pseudonym...

...I'm stuck up and "uppity" and don't know my place...

...I'm confusing except when I'm writing for someone else and they're getting paid off my dreams...

...I am...

....whatever you say...

...I am...

...If I wasn't, then why would you say I am?

That said, here's the video on Introverts vs. Extroverts. It's worth watching:

Also, I'm writing some Jeff the Killer X Ben Drowned for NaNo (maybe for NaNo). I'm looking forward to all the sex and text murder. This replaces the Dracula story for something I'm doing on the side. If you look for it, you'll be able to find it in a couple of days.