The Ghostbusters Controversy

Movie Suggestions:

The Hateful Eight: I love Quentin Tarantino movies. I didn't even know this one existed. I am also quite fond of Westerns. It's an interesting mix. Starring: Samuel L. Jackson (hearts) and Kurt Russel (hearts)

Bone Tomahawk: OMFG. I feel like I should issue a warning with this one. There is a scene in this movie that will make you regret all your life decisions. Also starring Kurt Russel (hearts). Also a Western. Also HORROR.

These two I could pick apart for racism, which I might actually start doing. I don't mean the kind of "racism" that's obvious with Tarantino flicks either. The truth isn't racism to me, sorry. I'm speaking more of undertones in Hollywood pictures. The message you're supposed to get at the end. I'll get into that another post and I may be rather useful in that vein considering I've watched enough movies and read enough books to write volumes on these subjects.


The Witch: The kind of shit "feminists" really should be bitching about. Not the movie itself, which is brilliant, but the reasons Pretty Blond Girl makes the choices she's forced to make.

The Boy: Slow claps for the nice twist that I didn't see coming. Perhaps I was having a dense night. I definitely didn't expect much besides Maggie, but this one surprised me.

And now on to the problem. The Ghostbusters War:

"There is no Dana, Only Zuul."
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There better be a guy this hot in this fucking movie.

So the misogynists and the femiNazi's are battling the Civil War all over again about why the trailer for the movie induces a sense of loathing in the viewer akin to that which Lovecraft could inspire while waxing philosophical about sweet Cthulhu. The male element is ranting things like: Ghostbusters is a male movie about male bonding and starting a business which is, obviously , a male thing to do. And the female element is ranting the 'anything you can do I can do better' song. And it's all really annoying as, in the end, I think people just like to square up and fight...about anything. 

Look. Ghostbusters (the original, and, honestly, as far as I am concerned, the only one) was a comedy that was smartly done. One of those crossover movies that was both amusing and serious at the same time. A viewer would laugh at the jokes in this movie, but they would also watch intently for the underlying intelligence of the plot. Ghostbusters is a classic because it was flawlessly clever and that had very little to do with the sex organ between the actors legs--but the script, director, level of the actor involved and the charisma those actors brought to the table. 

Within the plot you had people who were doing something crazy and something that had not been done before on the level that they were doing it. They had to be strong and sure about what they were attempting because the whole world was going to tell them that they were crazy for doing it. They could not falter. They could not be confused about their intention. They had to stand up against those that opposed them in this endeavor that the whole world saw as something absolutely ridiculous. Outside of the supernatural element to the movie, this is a feasible situation that anyone doing something new could easily fall into--like the Wright Brothers or the Suffragettes. Here is where the viewer could connect and empathize. Any viewer. Anybody that's ever dreamed anything...greater. Again, sex organs are not important here. Human dreams and human bravery are not confined in the way that sexuality tends to define us. Dreams are, often times, greater than the self, and those who actually manage to accomplish those dreams (and save the city) are even greater than that. 

The new movie gives us a bunch of very unsure characters. The first thing you see when the damn thing opens is them fumbling and questioning themselves and even deciding who is going to say what. While I am sure they are likely quite brave during the course of the film, the trailer, which went for damn near slapstick comedy lacks the finesse of the original film to a degree that made me cringe and think exactly this: "The Hollywood, Don't-Give-A-Fuck-Money-Making-Machine has gotten it's hands on one of my favorite films and reduced it to a Moe, Larry, and Curly short without the talent of Moe, Larry and Curly. Where is the walking charisma that is Peter Venkman? Which one of these women is capable of pulling that off? Where is the overwhelming genius of Egon Spengler? He was awkward, yes, but he was awkward because he was smarter than other people and he was SURE of that. Hence, his awkwardness came with a surety and strength that's hard to reproduce. Which one of these ladies is capable of holding this group of isolated individuals together like Ray did and get them to produce the thing that they would never be able to produce individually--to combine them into one great force that is capable of making this dream come true? 

All I saw was a bunch of insecure fumbling around in the trailer, and it looked to me like someone's cartoonish/buffonish idea of what a woman is instead of actual people who are supposed to be as smart as the characters in this film were. 

Ernie Hudson, 'The Forgotten Ghostbuster' also played his critical role well in humanizing the eggheads for the viewer--giving them something else to cling to in order to empathize with these guys. He was the character who could be any one of us--brilliant in his own way for seeing a worthy endeavor and wanting to be a part of it and brave and good enough as a human being for them to ask him to join them. That character has turned into something so terrifyingly loud and obnoxious that I don't even want to talk about all the things that are wrong there, but, again, I blame the writer/director's 'vision/s' and not vaginas for the fact that I wanted to kill myself after viewing the trailer. 

I do not hate this mess of a film because there are women in it and I am the same person that had some kind of brain hemorrhage when I thought Marvel had turned Thor into a woman for no other reason than to just do it. I think what I hate is the way that women are viewed, and, along with that (and the feminists that are defending this hot mess of a film) the way they view themselves. The world makes it hard but women are capable. As far as I can see, this movie does not showcase that capability in any way. In fact, the trailer does the exact opposite, in my humble opinion.

Add to that, the bulky, ugly, half-assed costumes, the terrible CGI, and the overly hyped 'look this is hilarious extra-comedy-blam-she-fell-down-ain't that funnay tee-hee' feel to the whole thing... and it just lacks everything that made the original movie beautiful. I'm not enthusiastic about it at all. Go watch The Witch instead and try to understand why this shit's like this.


Superhero Woes

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I have been messing around with the idea of complaining about the Batman vs. Superman movie for a while now. Frankly, I'm tired of complaining about shit, to be honest. I'm giving myself that discontented harpy vibe. At the end of the day, its likely because I'm not writing anything meaningful of late. Writing is therapeutic, and I'm missing mad sessions. Regardless, the movie is a long commercial for the obviously upcoming Justice League films. In being that, it is a disappointment of epic proportions. 

In looking at it, I could only see what it could so easily have been. I have a serious Batman fetish that I've had forever and a dark day. Batman, Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Who (Tom Baker)-- damn smart, crafty, see-right through-you kinds of motherfuckers. I don't just like Batman because he beats ass and takes down "bad guys". I like Batman's personality, his sexuality, his insanity, his bravery, and his brilliance. Usually, while beating ass, you are privy to these parts of him as well, creating a whole experience of that fascinating persona. With this latest movie though, there was a sore lack of all the things that make Batman--Batman

He beat ass okay, though far more clumsily than usual. He was clunky, ungraceful, and ... mean. He didn't show his natural brilliance. The hordes of women that love the part of him that is Bruce Wayne were sorely absent. And...but for Superman, the movie/commercial was painful to watch. I have no complaints about Superman. While he is not Christopher Reeves, he is darker and beautiful in his own way. Superman, in my humble opinion is fuck-nuts anyway. No one walking around with that kind of power could possibly be sane. He does a good job of pretending though, and the actor suits him. 

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Wonder Woman's portrayals over the years pains me. The cartoons and animated movies do her far more justice than any film portrayal since Linda Carter--who was kinda toned down, but so beautiful and true to her role as the times would allow her to be. 
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Every Wonder Woman after her has just kind of been a slut walk downward. For some reason, there is not the same problem with the portrayals of Cat Woman. Getting Wonder Woman's personality right seems ... difficult. Mostly though, she's a hot bitch in a tiny suit with little to no personality. Her personality though is pretty damn cool really. I'd like to see it evidenced on the silver screen properly. [Xena (Lucy Lawless) could have played Wonder Woman, you slow, oblivious fuckers.]

I feel I can voice these complaints because I read this stuff. Tons and Tons and Tons of this stuff, and always have. What I don't know shit about is making movies, so I'll just shut up now about how it's not being done right


Just a few more little notes:

1. I don't care how much 'star power' someone has, they're either capable of playing the role or they aren't. Don't fuck up my experience because of your bullshit, who-stroked-whose-cock politics. And more importantly, don't ruin Batman because of it. Like this cute little kid told me in Walmart yesterday because my crazy ass was wearing Batman pajama's ... "Batman is my favorite..."

2. That's NOT Lex Luthor. He's just NOT. Lex is the second smartest man in the world, he's built like a brick shit house on fire, and he makes bald work for him--Yul Brynner style. Twisted. Alpha. Male. All through the painful commercial, I kept wondering why Superman didn't just break his scrawny neck--not that he would do that--just that I really wanted him to. "Lex" and I use that "Lex" lightly ... didn't even give off the illusion of strength necessary to be a bother to Clark Kent, let alone Superman. And I don't mean physical strength either, just ... strength... inner and outer.

3. Don't promise the twisted masses that they're going to get verbal barbs and genuine competative macho bullshit between the smartest man in the world and the strongest and then give us the stale ass commercial for some other shit. We are not STUPID. You didn't even throw Lois in the middle and make her choose. Wth? That little battle alone would have driven your ... plot. 

4. Doomsday was wrrrroooooonnnnngggggggggg.....

5. Batman is not a sadist. I am. He's not. 

6. The Flash looks pretty good. DON'T FUCK IT UP. Didn't see enough of Cyborg to be able to tell one way or another--but I didn't cringe. Aqua Man looked like he was drowning. How long was he down there before you got the shot? Remember to let the nigga BREATHE. He's supposed to be able to do that underwater, ya know. 

I like the human part of superheros. That is what is endearing. That is what makes them beloved. Like, for example, the fact that Superman is afraid of being experiment on by the government in places like Area 51 because he's an alien--deathly afraid. His poor movies suck because no one will give him anything else to do but the same plot over and over again.

Try harder please. 

And don't lie. My fanficky-ship-hands were ready to write porn ... went into the theater erect...walked out limp as fuck. 


(not really, but it IS the best thing i've seen in a long time; someone else's work and all that)